You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
