you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
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