My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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