so that wasnt chicken after all
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
You're breaking my sexual little heart
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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