am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
...so i touched it.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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