dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
