You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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