How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Randomize