Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
