Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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