One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
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There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
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Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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