If i could tip my vagina, i would.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
