Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
