i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
