They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
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