i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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