THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
