I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
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Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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