You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
