I am spending my child support on dildos
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize