I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
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