im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Randomize
