I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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