It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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