Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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