Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
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