I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
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