So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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