I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
this hospital has no fireball
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
