I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
