Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
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