In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
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