You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I think weed is turning my hair brown
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
FUCK WHALES
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