You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Randomize
