Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Randomize
