Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
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