She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
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