yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
