I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
