I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
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