Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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