im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
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