You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
