I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
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