I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
