this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize