If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
