Even water is tasting like jack daniels
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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