God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
