Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Success! We fucked roommates!
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Randomize
