Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Are we still banned from the library?
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
