oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
50% drunk capacity currently
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Randomize
