i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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