I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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