i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Im part way to drunk.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
