so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
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