I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
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