Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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